Friday, September 10, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
To fully heal, do you need to fully "feel"?
After my 53 yr. old, healthy dad was tragically killed in a car accident, he was buried less than 24 hrs. afterward, and I wasn't allowed to be at his funeral. Nor did I see a picture of his broken body. Sure, most people wouldn't like to view the body of a loved one in such a state, and some even would like to skip funerals. For me, I have a hard time healing, unless I am able to face the pain and feel it. Without seeing him, or even a picture, it was hard to get closure on the shock of his death.
After almost 3 years of being in America, and saying goodbye to everything and everyone familiar, Serena is having a homesick spell. I've told anyone who asks about her adjustments, that she's never been homesick. She seemed oddly aloof when we met up with her mother for the last time in Ethiopia and said goodbye. (Of course she had already been in an orphanage, and her mother was no longer part of her life.) Serena has never cried about missing her homeland or relationships she left behind. Yet.
The one thing I know has grieved her from day one is that she has no baby pictures. She often has looked through our other children's pictures and family pictures and commented on how she wished she had pictures of her when she was little. I got a brainstorm about how I maybe I could make it a little easier for her. I started going through the web with her, looking up images of Ethiopia - babies, huts, herding animals, traditional dress, churches, food - whatever she remembers specifically. I saved any picture that she commented on remembering - of course they aren't the exact thing, person or place, but they would be like what she remembered. I hope to get them printed in a book, so she can have her own memory book. While we were going through all these pictures, the food ones kept coming up. She kept mentioning that she was getting hungry and then she asked if I would please cook her some Ethiopian food. We still have some tef - the flour they use to make injera and some spices they use also. So, I agreed, and we spent the next couple hours together in the kitchen making chicken stew (dora wat), injera, vegetable stew and beef and peppers. I have to steel my stomach a bit for it, until I get used to the idea, as it is very different. (One recipe called for onions, cinnamon, nutmeg, paprika, etc.- spices I would never normally put together.) The smell of the food cooking took me back to our time in Ethiopia - it is distinct ~ and Serena was very happy. She (and Stu) thoroughly enjoyed the meal, even though the rest of our kids opted for cereal. Serena even wanted me to pack some leftovers in a thermos to take to school. I asked her if she would be embarressed, and she said "no!", like "why would I?" So off she went this morning - I do wonder what others will think! I did send along a fork, and hopefully she uses it - although typically, you tear off pieces of injera and pick up the stews with the pancake-like injera. I'm sure those around her will get an education!
As I was doing Kira's hair this morning, she told me that after she had gone to sleep last night, she woke back up to Serena' sobbing. She asked her what was the matter, and Serena said she missed her mom in Ethiopia. Poor dear. All that Ethiopia talk, pictures, food, etc. must have gotten to her. As it was a rush getting them out the door to school, I didn't get a chance to ask Serena about it. I'm looking forward to sitting down with her and talking about it. I can't imagine not missing her mom and Ethiopia, if I were her. Instead of getting fearful, I'm hopeful that even though it's so much later, timewise, that the pain she feels and her expression through it, might not be a bad thing. I'm hoping that like me, she may begin to heal in ways she hasn't yet, if she allows herself to feel her sorrow.
After almost 3 years of being in America, and saying goodbye to everything and everyone familiar, Serena is having a homesick spell. I've told anyone who asks about her adjustments, that she's never been homesick. She seemed oddly aloof when we met up with her mother for the last time in Ethiopia and said goodbye. (Of course she had already been in an orphanage, and her mother was no longer part of her life.) Serena has never cried about missing her homeland or relationships she left behind. Yet.
The one thing I know has grieved her from day one is that she has no baby pictures. She often has looked through our other children's pictures and family pictures and commented on how she wished she had pictures of her when she was little. I got a brainstorm about how I maybe I could make it a little easier for her. I started going through the web with her, looking up images of Ethiopia - babies, huts, herding animals, traditional dress, churches, food - whatever she remembers specifically. I saved any picture that she commented on remembering - of course they aren't the exact thing, person or place, but they would be like what she remembered. I hope to get them printed in a book, so she can have her own memory book. While we were going through all these pictures, the food ones kept coming up. She kept mentioning that she was getting hungry and then she asked if I would please cook her some Ethiopian food. We still have some tef - the flour they use to make injera and some spices they use also. So, I agreed, and we spent the next couple hours together in the kitchen making chicken stew (dora wat), injera, vegetable stew and beef and peppers. I have to steel my stomach a bit for it, until I get used to the idea, as it is very different. (One recipe called for onions, cinnamon, nutmeg, paprika, etc.- spices I would never normally put together.) The smell of the food cooking took me back to our time in Ethiopia - it is distinct ~ and Serena was very happy. She (and Stu) thoroughly enjoyed the meal, even though the rest of our kids opted for cereal. Serena even wanted me to pack some leftovers in a thermos to take to school. I asked her if she would be embarressed, and she said "no!", like "why would I?" So off she went this morning - I do wonder what others will think! I did send along a fork, and hopefully she uses it - although typically, you tear off pieces of injera and pick up the stews with the pancake-like injera. I'm sure those around her will get an education!
As I was doing Kira's hair this morning, she told me that after she had gone to sleep last night, she woke back up to Serena' sobbing. She asked her what was the matter, and Serena said she missed her mom in Ethiopia. Poor dear. All that Ethiopia talk, pictures, food, etc. must have gotten to her. As it was a rush getting them out the door to school, I didn't get a chance to ask Serena about it. I'm looking forward to sitting down with her and talking about it. I can't imagine not missing her mom and Ethiopia, if I were her. Instead of getting fearful, I'm hopeful that even though it's so much later, timewise, that the pain she feels and her expression through it, might not be a bad thing. I'm hoping that like me, she may begin to heal in ways she hasn't yet, if she allows herself to feel her sorrow.
Friday, November 27, 2009
She's 9.
Warning: may be "too much information" for any of you unfamiliar with pubescent girls.
I had the best day shopping today - Black Friday - with Serena and Zeke. It was a full day, but really special. My little girl is growing up and I think she needed some time with someone who's already "been there, done that" - her mom. We picked out her first bra along with some pretty panties to match. We went to the fitting room to make sure it fit, and I soon realized the challenge it was going to be as I waited outside the room. She asked me to come in, because she couldn't get the straps fastened in the back. She was trying to fasten them before putting them on, and I chuckled as I watched her do acrobatics just trying to get her arms through. I told her she was going to have to figure it out, because I wasn't going to help her every morning to get dressed. I "walked her through" it verbally and even demonstrated by lifting the back of my shirt and showing how "easy" it is. Then I left her alone again, and waited outside the room. About 5 minutes later, she proudly announced that she got it. So that was #1 "grow up" purchase. #2 purchase happened today too. Maxi pads. She has just started her period - and is going through the ropes of learning all that's involved with that. Poor girl, she has had a few emotional mornings and I've spent a fair amount of time telling her that God made that part of "us girls" lives, etc. So today was a great time of sharing info and stories and about things to expect. (Plus many trips to the bathroom through the day.) She is young for that to be happening already, but it's not unusual for girls from 3rd world countries. (apparently once they come and get the proper nutrients, they mature quickly.) Unfortunately she doesn't have any peers there yet, hasn't had the school talk yet and knows nothing except what I've told her. Tonight she caught Stu off guard because he thought he already put all the kids to bed, and she comes out of the bathroom again with a smug look on her face. When he was wondering what she was doing still up, she says in a prissy voice, "something's happening to me - something I can't tell you - especially not in front of Kira." He puts his arm around her and says, "don't worry honey, I know all about girls!" She says, "ummm - you do?!" So - whether I'm ready or not - I'm a mother of a preteen - and the funny thing is, it does something to me - I feel the need to sit up straighter, and be an example - because now I have not just a young daughter - I have a comrade. It's kind of fun!
Some things are easier to teach than others. Being it's time for Christmas shopping, there are the bell ringers and others with need out there. Now that I am most often with my kids, I think about what I do in response to those people, or in this case, DON'T do. Their eyes are always watching. I've passed those in need many times, but today, I tried to make a point to be more giving. Even the guy with the sign at the corner got my attention - my mind couldn't rid of the nagging feeling that here I was with a excursion with the back loaded with groceries, and goodies, and my Christian music was on real loud and the windows were lowered because of the beautiful day... so gave into my heart, and I had Serena jump out and give him the gift card that I just got for spending so much at Target. She loved doing it, but it pinches a little when it's her little cache. Although I had bought her goodies through the day (all clearance items~good deals!), she was still determined to spend her $2.52 on something. She had only that much because she puts most of her money in the bank. I'm very proud of how well she saves. The thing she doesn't realize is that you can't buy a $10 toy with $2.52. She sure oogled over the stuff she couldn't afford - and everywhere she went, she would ask me if she could find something in the store to buy. What a challenge - I managed to find a few options, but no - not what she had in mind, and she would spend time looking over the more expensive stuff. Finally, after we passed another bell ringer, I suggested that maybe since she had already gotten quite a few treats that day, maybe she could give her money to the needy. My heart swelled with thanksgiving, when she eagerly grabbed her purse to give to the next bell ringer we came to. I waited probably 5 minutes for her to get it out and zip everything up again. I expressed to her how proud of her I was, and that that man has given up his warm home and whatever else he'd rather do, to ring that bell out in the cold to help others, and it was wonderful that she gave what she had to the cause. When we got into our last store, she asked again what she could spend her money on. "Didn't you give it to that Salvation Army man?", I asked. She said - yeah, but I still have $2.50. So! After all that - the guy got 2 pennies. Much deflated, the hunt began again. After finally picking out something that would use up the money, she decided she didn't like the idea of not having any change, so we had to find something that would only take one of her dollars. We spotted some gum, and in front of the cashier, I (impatiently by now), had to explain that .97 was going to use up her whole dollar - because of taxes. She noticed that there was some other gum that cost only .96 - and couldn't understand that it still would pretty much use of her whole dollar. Grrr. She did decide on the .96 gum, and the quest was finally over. I beat down my negative feelings about how I wish she was more generous, etc., and recognize that I need to celebrate the growth that is already happening. Some of the other kind of "growing up" takes our whole lives.
She turns 10 in a couple weeks - and though I've only had her for 2 1/2 years, I love having the beautiful girl for my daughter and truly enjoy watching her mature.
I had the best day shopping today - Black Friday - with Serena and Zeke. It was a full day, but really special. My little girl is growing up and I think she needed some time with someone who's already "been there, done that" - her mom. We picked out her first bra along with some pretty panties to match. We went to the fitting room to make sure it fit, and I soon realized the challenge it was going to be as I waited outside the room. She asked me to come in, because she couldn't get the straps fastened in the back. She was trying to fasten them before putting them on, and I chuckled as I watched her do acrobatics just trying to get her arms through. I told her she was going to have to figure it out, because I wasn't going to help her every morning to get dressed. I "walked her through" it verbally and even demonstrated by lifting the back of my shirt and showing how "easy" it is. Then I left her alone again, and waited outside the room. About 5 minutes later, she proudly announced that she got it. So that was #1 "grow up" purchase. #2 purchase happened today too. Maxi pads. She has just started her period - and is going through the ropes of learning all that's involved with that. Poor girl, she has had a few emotional mornings and I've spent a fair amount of time telling her that God made that part of "us girls" lives, etc. So today was a great time of sharing info and stories and about things to expect. (Plus many trips to the bathroom through the day.) She is young for that to be happening already, but it's not unusual for girls from 3rd world countries. (apparently once they come and get the proper nutrients, they mature quickly.) Unfortunately she doesn't have any peers there yet, hasn't had the school talk yet and knows nothing except what I've told her. Tonight she caught Stu off guard because he thought he already put all the kids to bed, and she comes out of the bathroom again with a smug look on her face. When he was wondering what she was doing still up, she says in a prissy voice, "something's happening to me - something I can't tell you - especially not in front of Kira." He puts his arm around her and says, "don't worry honey, I know all about girls!" She says, "ummm - you do?!" So - whether I'm ready or not - I'm a mother of a preteen - and the funny thing is, it does something to me - I feel the need to sit up straighter, and be an example - because now I have not just a young daughter - I have a comrade. It's kind of fun!
Some things are easier to teach than others. Being it's time for Christmas shopping, there are the bell ringers and others with need out there. Now that I am most often with my kids, I think about what I do in response to those people, or in this case, DON'T do. Their eyes are always watching. I've passed those in need many times, but today, I tried to make a point to be more giving. Even the guy with the sign at the corner got my attention - my mind couldn't rid of the nagging feeling that here I was with a excursion with the back loaded with groceries, and goodies, and my Christian music was on real loud and the windows were lowered because of the beautiful day... so gave into my heart, and I had Serena jump out and give him the gift card that I just got for spending so much at Target. She loved doing it, but it pinches a little when it's her little cache. Although I had bought her goodies through the day (all clearance items~good deals!), she was still determined to spend her $2.52 on something. She had only that much because she puts most of her money in the bank. I'm very proud of how well she saves. The thing she doesn't realize is that you can't buy a $10 toy with $2.52. She sure oogled over the stuff she couldn't afford - and everywhere she went, she would ask me if she could find something in the store to buy. What a challenge - I managed to find a few options, but no - not what she had in mind, and she would spend time looking over the more expensive stuff. Finally, after we passed another bell ringer, I suggested that maybe since she had already gotten quite a few treats that day, maybe she could give her money to the needy. My heart swelled with thanksgiving, when she eagerly grabbed her purse to give to the next bell ringer we came to. I waited probably 5 minutes for her to get it out and zip everything up again. I expressed to her how proud of her I was, and that that man has given up his warm home and whatever else he'd rather do, to ring that bell out in the cold to help others, and it was wonderful that she gave what she had to the cause. When we got into our last store, she asked again what she could spend her money on. "Didn't you give it to that Salvation Army man?", I asked. She said - yeah, but I still have $2.50. So! After all that - the guy got 2 pennies. Much deflated, the hunt began again. After finally picking out something that would use up the money, she decided she didn't like the idea of not having any change, so we had to find something that would only take one of her dollars. We spotted some gum, and in front of the cashier, I (impatiently by now), had to explain that .97 was going to use up her whole dollar - because of taxes. She noticed that there was some other gum that cost only .96 - and couldn't understand that it still would pretty much use of her whole dollar. Grrr. She did decide on the .96 gum, and the quest was finally over. I beat down my negative feelings about how I wish she was more generous, etc., and recognize that I need to celebrate the growth that is already happening. Some of the other kind of "growing up" takes our whole lives.
She turns 10 in a couple weeks - and though I've only had her for 2 1/2 years, I love having the beautiful girl for my daughter and truly enjoy watching her mature.
Monday, October 26, 2009
a few tidbits to treasure
Before I forget completely, I wanted to jot down some little things about Gabe that I thought were cute.
I just went away for a few days, so he was looked after by some friends. He got a ride to a friends house who lives 20 minutes away by our neighbor. While at the gas station where our neighbor works (I guess she wasn't ready to come home yet), he had to use the bathroom. Our neighbor lady friend brought him to the toilet, but he said, "Don't look! Don't watch me!" and proceeded to go to the bathroom. As she is politely standing outside the door waiting for him, he yells, "Wipe!" Do I hear mixed messages? ;)
Gabe is the most tender kid towards Zeke, my heart is just touched. And to others. I babysit a little boy who is about 1 1/2 years old. Gabe told me out of the blue this morning that he loves this little boy. I've been having trouble with this boy hurting Zeke - a bite here, or a scratch there - I just can't really leave them unattended. This morning the little boy tried to bite Zeke's head, and left a long raised scratch across his head. Of course Zeke was crying, so I came to see what was up. I asked Gabe what happened, and Gabe demonstrated. I spanked the little boy's hand (which didn't seem to phase him, so I have to figure out how to teach him not to do this another way...) Anyway Gabe goes on to tell me that the little boy said he is sorry and that he will never do that again. (the kid can't even talk) A few minutes later Gabe is kissing Zeke's head and saying "sorry" and then Gabe looks at me and tells me not to be mad at the little boy anymore. I'm like "where is this coming from?" I am just touched at how much he cares and though he is protective of Zeke, he doesn't want the punishment to be too hard for the little boy.
Later this afternoon, we were out on a walk. (I was pushing Gabe and Zeke in our stroller). A dog came running toward us. Gabe says, "that dog isn't going to eat Zeke." He was just stating that hoping for a confirmation from me!?!
He is Zeke's best friend. Babie's love babies I guess for the minute Gabe is awake from his nap, he starts making Zeke laugh and "talk". It is precious to see.
below is a video (sorry I can't seem to turn it) of Gabe and Kira (a roman senator marries a princess).
I just went away for a few days, so he was looked after by some friends. He got a ride to a friends house who lives 20 minutes away by our neighbor. While at the gas station where our neighbor works (I guess she wasn't ready to come home yet), he had to use the bathroom. Our neighbor lady friend brought him to the toilet, but he said, "Don't look! Don't watch me!" and proceeded to go to the bathroom. As she is politely standing outside the door waiting for him, he yells, "Wipe!" Do I hear mixed messages? ;)
Gabe is the most tender kid towards Zeke, my heart is just touched. And to others. I babysit a little boy who is about 1 1/2 years old. Gabe told me out of the blue this morning that he loves this little boy. I've been having trouble with this boy hurting Zeke - a bite here, or a scratch there - I just can't really leave them unattended. This morning the little boy tried to bite Zeke's head, and left a long raised scratch across his head. Of course Zeke was crying, so I came to see what was up. I asked Gabe what happened, and Gabe demonstrated. I spanked the little boy's hand (which didn't seem to phase him, so I have to figure out how to teach him not to do this another way...) Anyway Gabe goes on to tell me that the little boy said he is sorry and that he will never do that again. (the kid can't even talk) A few minutes later Gabe is kissing Zeke's head and saying "sorry" and then Gabe looks at me and tells me not to be mad at the little boy anymore. I'm like "where is this coming from?" I am just touched at how much he cares and though he is protective of Zeke, he doesn't want the punishment to be too hard for the little boy.
Later this afternoon, we were out on a walk. (I was pushing Gabe and Zeke in our stroller). A dog came running toward us. Gabe says, "that dog isn't going to eat Zeke." He was just stating that hoping for a confirmation from me!?!
He is Zeke's best friend. Babie's love babies I guess for the minute Gabe is awake from his nap, he starts making Zeke laugh and "talk". It is precious to see.
below is a video (sorry I can't seem to turn it) of Gabe and Kira (a roman senator marries a princess).
Oh, the bright spots!
My heart is overflowing to the point of tears - thank you God for our children, and what You've done in their lives and ours.
This morning was Mom's in Touch, and as we do each week, we chose a specific child to pray for. I choose Serena because my heart is aching for her right now. She has had significant pressure in learning our language and in most areas of schooling. If you compare what she knew when she first came to America 2 1/2 yrs. ago to what she knows now, she has made tremendous progress, but if you look at how far she has to go to be caught up to where she should be according to her age, it is so discouraging. She seems to comprehend so little of what she reads and is supposed to have learned. It has been a point of frustration between mother and daugher. More than that issue, my concern for her recently is her negativity. Somehow in the process of my trying to teach her, I've focused on the correction of all the little things that she doesn't say or do right, and now it seems she is constantly correcting (often harshly) her siblings. Her tone is bossy and controlling. She seems stressed. She is changing into a young lady also, so that brings a whole new set of issues. I sense she needs more affection and praise than what she's been getting. So we prayed for her especially this morning, and I've been making an effort to reach out to her with a hug or a smile. (I could do SO much better at this, as I get so caught up in what needs to be done, etc, and often struggle to take the time for positive attention.) Well tonight was the bright spot that I just had to share. We were praying at bedtime and she beautifully started praising God and telling Him that she loves Him and He is so wonderful etc. (she was so fervent, I heard myself saying "amen" and nodding, which isn't typical.) She prayed for President Obama that God would help him do a good job being president. She prayed for those in Ethiopia. At the close of her prayer she thanked God for her siblings and for her dad and mom that they went all the way over to Ethiopia to bring her and her brother here, and now she knows Jesus - and if they didn't go and get her from there, she might not ever have learned about Jesus and how He saved her from her sins.
No one put those words in her mouth. That came from her own heart. I'd never heard her say that before. I am brought to tears because has been our desire from day one. In fact, before we actually brought her from Ethiopia, Garret was the one who said that he wanted to share about Jesus with her. (She was raised Orthodox, and as far as we understand, they do not have a personal relationship with Jesus) Although we taught her about Him, it wasn't until she had been here a year and a half, when she was at camp and heard about Him in a plain, vibrant way, that she accepted His forgiveness for her sins. When I picked our kids up from camp, she was so excited to share her news with me - and got emotional telling it. Salvation through the blood of Jesus makes sense to her now. I am so thankful. There have been times when I've second guessed our adoption, for this reason or that ~ but tonight I'm lifted up. We have been committed to it from day one, and Serena has blessed us BIG TIME by being in our family, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to have her in our lives, but because of my own sinful nature and daily struggles, I've felt bad at times that I've not done better by her; but TONIGHT I feel like I caught a glimpse through a little window into eternity - something precious - the overall picture - a larger perspective - something from the heart of God through the words and smile of a little girl ~ my daughter.
Praise be to God our Father.
This morning was Mom's in Touch, and as we do each week, we chose a specific child to pray for. I choose Serena because my heart is aching for her right now. She has had significant pressure in learning our language and in most areas of schooling. If you compare what she knew when she first came to America 2 1/2 yrs. ago to what she knows now, she has made tremendous progress, but if you look at how far she has to go to be caught up to where she should be according to her age, it is so discouraging. She seems to comprehend so little of what she reads and is supposed to have learned. It has been a point of frustration between mother and daugher. More than that issue, my concern for her recently is her negativity. Somehow in the process of my trying to teach her, I've focused on the correction of all the little things that she doesn't say or do right, and now it seems she is constantly correcting (often harshly) her siblings. Her tone is bossy and controlling. She seems stressed. She is changing into a young lady also, so that brings a whole new set of issues. I sense she needs more affection and praise than what she's been getting. So we prayed for her especially this morning, and I've been making an effort to reach out to her with a hug or a smile. (I could do SO much better at this, as I get so caught up in what needs to be done, etc, and often struggle to take the time for positive attention.) Well tonight was the bright spot that I just had to share. We were praying at bedtime and she beautifully started praising God and telling Him that she loves Him and He is so wonderful etc. (she was so fervent, I heard myself saying "amen" and nodding, which isn't typical.) She prayed for President Obama that God would help him do a good job being president. She prayed for those in Ethiopia. At the close of her prayer she thanked God for her siblings and for her dad and mom that they went all the way over to Ethiopia to bring her and her brother here, and now she knows Jesus - and if they didn't go and get her from there, she might not ever have learned about Jesus and how He saved her from her sins.
No one put those words in her mouth. That came from her own heart. I'd never heard her say that before. I am brought to tears because has been our desire from day one. In fact, before we actually brought her from Ethiopia, Garret was the one who said that he wanted to share about Jesus with her. (She was raised Orthodox, and as far as we understand, they do not have a personal relationship with Jesus) Although we taught her about Him, it wasn't until she had been here a year and a half, when she was at camp and heard about Him in a plain, vibrant way, that she accepted His forgiveness for her sins. When I picked our kids up from camp, she was so excited to share her news with me - and got emotional telling it. Salvation through the blood of Jesus makes sense to her now. I am so thankful. There have been times when I've second guessed our adoption, for this reason or that ~ but tonight I'm lifted up. We have been committed to it from day one, and Serena has blessed us BIG TIME by being in our family, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to have her in our lives, but because of my own sinful nature and daily struggles, I've felt bad at times that I've not done better by her; but TONIGHT I feel like I caught a glimpse through a little window into eternity - something precious - the overall picture - a larger perspective - something from the heart of God through the words and smile of a little girl ~ my daughter.
Praise be to God our Father.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
our kids are growing up
Another school year has started - that is what prompted the photo shoot below - I have a hard time forking out $80 for school portraits when I have a sister-in-law, Kim, who can take pictures like these.
Damien is now in 6th grade - and starting band again - he plays the drum. Garret has started 4th grade and is looking forward to learning lots of facts to come home and quiz Mom and Dad about. Serena has skipped a year and is now in 3rd grade. She will be pulled out of the classroom for extra help to get her caught up, as she has had so much to learn since coming over from Ethiopia not even speaking English 2 1/2 yrs. ago. Kira is in 2nd grade and is finding it hard to be responsible! They all love their teachers and get along good, (as far as I know) with their classmates.
Gabe is also growing up and is easier to handle, giving me a break from the constant neediness of toddlerhood. He is actually helpful with the babies (I babysit in the morning), running errands around the house, etc. He lets me know whenever there is a problem around the house - and it pays to go check out whatever he reports, because it's generally true!
Zeke is 7 months now and is a pile of fun. Stu loves to get him laughing and it melts his daddy's heart when he says, "da da da..." Stu claims that other than me, he loves Zeke more than he's loved another person. I laugh and tell him he's said that for every one of our babies. Maybe there's a connection between the need to protect and love - they both fill up your heart and mind in a way... I don't know, but he sure has his dad wrapped around his little finger. Zeke just popped out his first tooth - he's been working on it for ages it seems. I brought him to the doctor last week for the first time in his life (he was born at home, and had the midwife care for the first months.) because he had a fever of 102. The doctor said the fever was from his teething. Okay - I remember my other kids running temperatures when they were teething, but I didn't think it was that alarming! But sure enough, his tooth was out a day or so later, and the runny nose he also had, is cleared up. Someone was commenting about how I should know all about the "ins and outs" of babyhood, because of how many kids I have. I just laughed. I probably should know all there is to know, but I don't. It's amazing to me how many of the little details that you forget, and too, it's amazing how different each kid can be. Stu is often commenting on how I should write more things down in the kid's baby books, because otherwise we'll never remember the cute things they say, etc. Gabe just came off with a "term" that was new to me. Zeke had just woken up and was hungry, and since I nurse him, I was settling down to feed him. Gabe said, "no, not the belly - feed him the bowl!" Zeke eats his baby food out of a bowl now, and Gabe just thinks that's the greatest - especially now that Zeke is taking over Gabe's highchair, which gives him the reason to graduate to a bar stool like the rest of us. "not the belly!" (ahh the innocence!)
I didn't think about how much Gabe is getting into trouble, until he started apologizing for everything. He gets a new toy, and I say, "Gabe, what do you say to Grandma for the new toy?" He sobers his face and says, "Sorry".
Ahhh! Poor kid - he must feel like he better cover his tracks whether he understands why, or not - "sorry" should get mom off my case!
Another cute thing he's been doing right now, is trying to coax his mom into giving him what he wants by acting like it's not really a big deal. If I give him something healthy to eat, he'll say in a resigning voice, "I guess I'll just have a cupcake." Or if I get him a cup of water, he scrunches up his face and says, "I guess I'll just have juice." as if juice is a step down from water. Poor kid, he'll have to learn that if I feel manipulated, cuteness doesn't work - water he's getting.
I love his childish speech. He uses "yesterday" in a way that shows he clearly doesn't understand what it means. When it's time for bed, I remind him to go to the bathroom first. He says, "I dust did, yesterday!"
It's so fun to watch our babies grow up.
As far as our "bigger" kids, that's interesting too - though you take a lot for granted, since the growth doesn't seem to come as quickly.
Kira is getting taller and less little girly - though "little girly" she is! She could spend hours in her room playing with stuffed animals or hard little animals - or she sits outside playing with the animals in the landscape. Or, she is in one of our window-wells, catching frogs. Most of the time, she is a ragamuffin - I can't seem to get her hair to stay tidy for more than a moment. She is a "velcro" girl, and is over-the-top "lovey" to Grandma or Auntie Cheri, Jodi or Kim. You can see part of her personality in the photos below. Amazing that a butterfly came along during the photoshoot - that was Kira's dream to have her picture taken with one. Her favorite song is "Butterfly Kisses." Last year she brought a CD with that song to school and danced with it for a little talent show they had. She said the teacher cried.
Garret is the brains in the family. Brain as in "facts". I differentiate because he also tends to be an "air head". (don't tell him I said that.) If he is reading something, and you talk to him, he doesn't hear. Or if you told him to do something he says, "okay", and goes off and does something you didn't even ask him to do. This has happened over and over. He is the deepest thinker in our family - he's always in another world. Even while he is eating, he absentmindedly shoves his food in his mouth, spilling crumbs all over the floor (he is NINE for goodness sake.)
In the main, he doesn't get into trouble, except for the occasional explosive sibling rivalry - which I might add, if pushed too far, Garret has a temper! I mean the bawling, face screwed up kind. One time, there was a straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I lost it, and cried and acted like I was going to pull out my hair. Garret looks on, and says, "I know how you feel Mom."
Garret amazes us with his desire to learn. We were playing the "guess who" game of the Bible, and it was going back and forth between Dad and Mom, because we know each other good enough by now, we can guess quickly. Finally he got the answer so it was his turn. He thought of some guy in the Bible I hadn't even heard of (though I know I had because I've read Kings before). We spent so long trying to guess who it was, until we finally gave up - It turned out to be some rotten king who started with a M, and was a son of Hezekiah. He knew all the facts about him, and his eyes get all big as he fills us in. He loves playing games, and if he loses, he will lay in bed and figure out how he could have won. (the next morning, if he can wait that long, he explains it all!) He loves to read, but when he catches your ear, he jabbers and jabbers - he's that kid that you block out and just end up giving grunt answers to. ;)
I am really proud of Serena. She has done amazing for coming to America and fitting into a family - with it's oddities, personalities and difficulties, and loves us. She has learned so much - a lot about manners, obedience, being helpful and responsible - besides having to learn the English language and beginning school. She is the most responsible kid in our family. She is the best helper. I'm constantly torn between letting her do the job, or getting a half hearted job done by one of her siblings. The kids earn bead for doing jobs, and can trade beads for either TV/computer time, or $. She loves the TV, but since I started this, she saves for $ and puts it in the bank. The other day, I forked over $17 to her, and I was thinking, "what?" The other kids get piddly amounts, unless they have something in mind to buy, than they work and save. I'm impressed with many things about Serena - but tend to keep most of my feelings inside (she might get a big head? I really don't know why.) When I do express to her how happy I am with her, she is very pleased. She is a very confident girl and hasn't had a moment of regret of coming to America. Her only sorrow that I know of, is something so seemingly small, yet makes her so sad. She is sad that we don't have any pictures of her when she was a baby. She has studied the other kid's pictures and family pictures of us before she came to us. She has asked me to cut a picture out of her and Gabe and tape it in the old family photo. Ahhh?! She has her annoying traits as do all, but we were very thankful to have her in our family.
Damien is starting to stink - literally. I hadn't noticed it before - but the B.O. is happening. The teen years are right around the corner, and I need to stock up on deodrant. He is his own person and has established his place in the family as "ruler" among the kids. He organizes ball games, playing school, games, what snack they are going to have, and controls as much as he wants. (Serena has butted heads big time with him on this, but has backed down to give him back his honored place.) He can be the most helpful kid who is patient and great at teaching - if he wants. He's great at getting the kids excited about doing what he wants them to do. He is looked up to by the kids on our block too. He can be lazy and selfous, and very slow to think of others before himself. But the tender side comes out and warms his dad and mom's heart. Something I think is unique to Damien is his love for babies - he's always been that way - from being a 2 year old when Garret came along, to an 11 yr. old, when he held "minutes old" Zeke, he has eyes only for them - taking it all in - being affectionate and protective. He still also likes to hug and kiss his parents and I think his dad is still his hero - at this point.
This is how it is at the Symington house - fall 2009.
Damien is now in 6th grade - and starting band again - he plays the drum. Garret has started 4th grade and is looking forward to learning lots of facts to come home and quiz Mom and Dad about. Serena has skipped a year and is now in 3rd grade. She will be pulled out of the classroom for extra help to get her caught up, as she has had so much to learn since coming over from Ethiopia not even speaking English 2 1/2 yrs. ago. Kira is in 2nd grade and is finding it hard to be responsible! They all love their teachers and get along good, (as far as I know) with their classmates.
Gabe is also growing up and is easier to handle, giving me a break from the constant neediness of toddlerhood. He is actually helpful with the babies (I babysit in the morning), running errands around the house, etc. He lets me know whenever there is a problem around the house - and it pays to go check out whatever he reports, because it's generally true!
Zeke is 7 months now and is a pile of fun. Stu loves to get him laughing and it melts his daddy's heart when he says, "da da da..." Stu claims that other than me, he loves Zeke more than he's loved another person. I laugh and tell him he's said that for every one of our babies. Maybe there's a connection between the need to protect and love - they both fill up your heart and mind in a way... I don't know, but he sure has his dad wrapped around his little finger. Zeke just popped out his first tooth - he's been working on it for ages it seems. I brought him to the doctor last week for the first time in his life (he was born at home, and had the midwife care for the first months.) because he had a fever of 102. The doctor said the fever was from his teething. Okay - I remember my other kids running temperatures when they were teething, but I didn't think it was that alarming! But sure enough, his tooth was out a day or so later, and the runny nose he also had, is cleared up. Someone was commenting about how I should know all about the "ins and outs" of babyhood, because of how many kids I have. I just laughed. I probably should know all there is to know, but I don't. It's amazing to me how many of the little details that you forget, and too, it's amazing how different each kid can be. Stu is often commenting on how I should write more things down in the kid's baby books, because otherwise we'll never remember the cute things they say, etc. Gabe just came off with a "term" that was new to me. Zeke had just woken up and was hungry, and since I nurse him, I was settling down to feed him. Gabe said, "no, not the belly - feed him the bowl!" Zeke eats his baby food out of a bowl now, and Gabe just thinks that's the greatest - especially now that Zeke is taking over Gabe's highchair, which gives him the reason to graduate to a bar stool like the rest of us. "not the belly!" (ahh the innocence!)
I didn't think about how much Gabe is getting into trouble, until he started apologizing for everything. He gets a new toy, and I say, "Gabe, what do you say to Grandma for the new toy?" He sobers his face and says, "Sorry".
Ahhh! Poor kid - he must feel like he better cover his tracks whether he understands why, or not - "sorry" should get mom off my case!
Another cute thing he's been doing right now, is trying to coax his mom into giving him what he wants by acting like it's not really a big deal. If I give him something healthy to eat, he'll say in a resigning voice, "I guess I'll just have a cupcake." Or if I get him a cup of water, he scrunches up his face and says, "I guess I'll just have juice." as if juice is a step down from water. Poor kid, he'll have to learn that if I feel manipulated, cuteness doesn't work - water he's getting.
I love his childish speech. He uses "yesterday" in a way that shows he clearly doesn't understand what it means. When it's time for bed, I remind him to go to the bathroom first. He says, "I dust did, yesterday!"
It's so fun to watch our babies grow up.
As far as our "bigger" kids, that's interesting too - though you take a lot for granted, since the growth doesn't seem to come as quickly.
Kira is getting taller and less little girly - though "little girly" she is! She could spend hours in her room playing with stuffed animals or hard little animals - or she sits outside playing with the animals in the landscape. Or, she is in one of our window-wells, catching frogs. Most of the time, she is a ragamuffin - I can't seem to get her hair to stay tidy for more than a moment. She is a "velcro" girl, and is over-the-top "lovey" to Grandma or Auntie Cheri, Jodi or Kim. You can see part of her personality in the photos below. Amazing that a butterfly came along during the photoshoot - that was Kira's dream to have her picture taken with one. Her favorite song is "Butterfly Kisses." Last year she brought a CD with that song to school and danced with it for a little talent show they had. She said the teacher cried.
Garret is the brains in the family. Brain as in "facts". I differentiate because he also tends to be an "air head". (don't tell him I said that.) If he is reading something, and you talk to him, he doesn't hear. Or if you told him to do something he says, "okay", and goes off and does something you didn't even ask him to do. This has happened over and over. He is the deepest thinker in our family - he's always in another world. Even while he is eating, he absentmindedly shoves his food in his mouth, spilling crumbs all over the floor (he is NINE for goodness sake.)
In the main, he doesn't get into trouble, except for the occasional explosive sibling rivalry - which I might add, if pushed too far, Garret has a temper! I mean the bawling, face screwed up kind. One time, there was a straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I lost it, and cried and acted like I was going to pull out my hair. Garret looks on, and says, "I know how you feel Mom."
Garret amazes us with his desire to learn. We were playing the "guess who" game of the Bible, and it was going back and forth between Dad and Mom, because we know each other good enough by now, we can guess quickly. Finally he got the answer so it was his turn. He thought of some guy in the Bible I hadn't even heard of (though I know I had because I've read Kings before). We spent so long trying to guess who it was, until we finally gave up - It turned out to be some rotten king who started with a M, and was a son of Hezekiah. He knew all the facts about him, and his eyes get all big as he fills us in. He loves playing games, and if he loses, he will lay in bed and figure out how he could have won. (the next morning, if he can wait that long, he explains it all!) He loves to read, but when he catches your ear, he jabbers and jabbers - he's that kid that you block out and just end up giving grunt answers to. ;)
I am really proud of Serena. She has done amazing for coming to America and fitting into a family - with it's oddities, personalities and difficulties, and loves us. She has learned so much - a lot about manners, obedience, being helpful and responsible - besides having to learn the English language and beginning school. She is the most responsible kid in our family. She is the best helper. I'm constantly torn between letting her do the job, or getting a half hearted job done by one of her siblings. The kids earn bead for doing jobs, and can trade beads for either TV/computer time, or $. She loves the TV, but since I started this, she saves for $ and puts it in the bank. The other day, I forked over $17 to her, and I was thinking, "what?" The other kids get piddly amounts, unless they have something in mind to buy, than they work and save. I'm impressed with many things about Serena - but tend to keep most of my feelings inside (she might get a big head? I really don't know why.) When I do express to her how happy I am with her, she is very pleased. She is a very confident girl and hasn't had a moment of regret of coming to America. Her only sorrow that I know of, is something so seemingly small, yet makes her so sad. She is sad that we don't have any pictures of her when she was a baby. She has studied the other kid's pictures and family pictures of us before she came to us. She has asked me to cut a picture out of her and Gabe and tape it in the old family photo. Ahhh?! She has her annoying traits as do all, but we were very thankful to have her in our family.
Damien is starting to stink - literally. I hadn't noticed it before - but the B.O. is happening. The teen years are right around the corner, and I need to stock up on deodrant. He is his own person and has established his place in the family as "ruler" among the kids. He organizes ball games, playing school, games, what snack they are going to have, and controls as much as he wants. (Serena has butted heads big time with him on this, but has backed down to give him back his honored place.) He can be the most helpful kid who is patient and great at teaching - if he wants. He's great at getting the kids excited about doing what he wants them to do. He is looked up to by the kids on our block too. He can be lazy and selfous, and very slow to think of others before himself. But the tender side comes out and warms his dad and mom's heart. Something I think is unique to Damien is his love for babies - he's always been that way - from being a 2 year old when Garret came along, to an 11 yr. old, when he held "minutes old" Zeke, he has eyes only for them - taking it all in - being affectionate and protective. He still also likes to hug and kiss his parents and I think his dad is still his hero - at this point.
This is how it is at the Symington house - fall 2009.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
