My testimony given at a Christmas program 2007

When my neighbor asked me to, in her words, “share what Jesus means to me” at your Christmas program, I knew I was in a fix. I never like having to get up in front of people, and I fear that somehow by sharing with people, they may get the impression that I “have it all together”, or at least they think that I know what I am talking about. I will never “have it all together”, but there are certain things that I know. It is an honor to stand before you and tell you what Jesus means to me.
He is truly my best friend, and I know that no matter what comes my way, I have the assurance that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
The easiest way to tell you what Jesus means to me, is to share about my life. I was born to a loving man with a great sense of humor, (he really needed it because there were 11 of us kids), and a hard working mother (who never seemed to get through the pile of ironing!). I have good memories of being #5 of 11 kids - we were a loud, hungry bunch, but sang together, laughed and played together. As many of you know, I was raised in the Brethren Mtg. We were taught about Jesus, and that we were special because we were more enlightened than other Christians. We held onto strict teaching, and looked to a leader to direct our lives. I fell in love, when I came out to Neche, and met a great looking guy, but I was only 13, and he was 20. In the following years, we saw each other at different places, and although we both thought that we were probably too far apart in age, the attraction was there. When I turned 20, I got the phone call I had been waiting for - and married Stuart soon after.
We were happy and things went along smoothly until Nov. 13, 1998. We found out that a man that worked for Stu had been stealing from us, and over time, embezzled $75,000. We sat in disbelief that someone we had trusted had done that to us, and I knew that nothing I could say would make it easier for Stu. Then the phone rang. My mom and asked me if I was sitting down. She told me that my healthy, strong, 53 yr old dad was killed in a car accident. Mom was left with 6 kids to raise alone. We were devastated. I loved my dad, and looked up to him. We saw how easily our lives could be snuffed out in an instant and our perspective changed. The $ stolen didn’t hold the same pain. Life is more important.
I had never lost someone that close to me before, and it hurt. But my faith grew during that time. I felt “arms” around me as I knelt alone by my bed, begging God for help. I also began to realize that God himself loves ME. Reflecting on the past months, I could see how He was so kind and gentle, in a personal way. My dad lived 24 hrs. away in Columbus, OH, but had just been up to see us only 3 days before the accident. In fact, I took the last picture of him. He knew and loved my husband and had seen my 1 yr. old baby. My 5 younger sisters wouldn’t be able to share their families with dad. Even as he went out the door on that last fateful trip, he told my sister (who was on the phone with me) to tell me that he loved me. Reflecting on those things made me intensely aware of God’s intimate interest in us.
Time went on, and we were busy. We really put our all into our lives as Brethren - until some things started happening that we knew were wrong. Things that were against scripture! We approached the persons who were involved and it became apparent that they were going to sweep these things under the rug, and we ourselves were persecuted because we questioned the things that were happening. Things were going to go on and we were supposed to act like all was well. We decided we couldn’t do that. Without thinking about the consequences, we left the meeting. Our lives dramatically changed. We have been shunned - from our family and not only our best, but our only friends, and the only life we’d ever known. We lost our identity. We spent some very lonely years, and had to (in a way), start over in our relationship with God. All of a sudden we were responsible for our own decisions - there was no “leader” who told us what to do, etc. But what a wonderful thing it has been. We may have lost ones dear to us, but God said that “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” (Matthew 19;29) That started to happen for us, through one of our neighbor ladies. She kept coming over uninvited - and loving on us. Slowly we began to see that the position we held as “special Christians” was false, along with many other ideas we clung to. Through loving neighbors and listening to Christian radio, our hearts began to open. We saw our need to go to church, and what blessings we have found.
Our new life opened many things to us. We soon found ourselves enjoying many things we’d never done before. We also began to realize that doing more things, buying more things and adding to ourselves wasn’t going to bring complete satisfaction. God had blessed us, and brought us great freedom. We started to feel like we couldn’t keep it all to ourselves. We looked into adoption, and considered it for a couple years. I kept hoping that I would become a better mother, than I would feel free to go ahead and adopt. (ha ha) A scripture that we studied in Breaking Free - a Bible study with Beth Moore, kept coming to my mind.
Isaiah 58:6 says “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? (God had loosed our chains - and given us freedom we’d never known.) Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him, (when had we ever done that?) and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? (Now listen to this) Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, (hard for us to do, after growing up as judgmental as we were) and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. (and this has become my beautiful dream) You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
We took the step in faith that God would be with us, and went to Ethiopia to adopt two beautiful children, 7 yr. old Kidest and 9 month old Hiale. We were humbled @ Kidest - whom we now call Serena. She leapt into Stu’s arms when we arrived and kept saying her few English words, “Dad…dad…dad… I love you”. By the way, today is her 8th birthday - and she had her first ever birthday party. (clap)
Gabe (Hiale) immediately accepted us too. It really was a miracle that a 9 month old baby seemed to know us, though he realistically couldn’t have. Even when we went to see their mother, Gabe cried for Stu, and wasn’t comforted until he was in his arms.
We now have 5 beautiful children, who each have individual gifts they bring to our family. I am thankful to God for His goodness, but also know now more than ever how much help I need. I have not, at times been a good mother, and have been surprised at how ugly I can be to my kids. Amazingly, even after loosing my temper, they forgive and still love me. How much more amazing it is that Jesus, knowing all our sin, looks on us with love. This season we celebrate how Jesus, God’s own Son, came into this world, as a dependent, infant - caring about us enough to come and experience life as we know it. God Himself, in a touchable human form. What joy!