Our indecision

Is using birth control what God means for us?

What a personal, embarrassing, uncomfortable, and controversial topic. And one that keeps me up at night – or keeps me on my own side of the bed at night…;) A topic with many personal opinions, yet no answers that give me peace – or answers that I been able to claim as my own and feel good about.
Why? I’m constantly tossed and turned with believing what the culture (or even some Christian friends whom I hold high esteem for.) is telling us, and the possibility that God doesn’t think the same thing.

Here are some thoughts from an article I stumbled on by Val Halloran:

In the Old Testament it says “It is I who open and close the womb.” Does He, or doesn’t He? I think many of us believe that once we have proved ourselves to be fertile, that the number of children we have escapes God’s control. If Romans 12:1 calls us to “present our bodies as a living sacrifice”, does this exclude the surrender of our wombs, the very thing that distinguishes us as women from men?
This world teaches that we should trust our own judgment when anticipating the future and what we think we can handle, but Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us not to “lean on our own understanding, but to trust in the Lord with all our hearts.”
I doubt if Mary, the mother of Jesus, would have chosen to become pregnant in her situation, but she said, “Be it done to me according to Thy will.” Her pregnancy was not convenient or timely in human terms, but God had a plan far greater than she could understand.
Psalm 127 says “Children are gifts from the Lord”. Has His Word ceased to be true in this modern age? Are we going to believe the culture around us or His eternal, unchangeable Word?
I don’t believe, as many churches teach, that it is irresponsible to allow God to have control over our wombs even when we face financial or other temporal pressures. God says He will not give us more than we can handle (I Corinthians 10:13).
The very children we accept from Him could someday be the key to alleviate some of those pressures we feel. It used to be that children were considered a financial asset, rather than a liability. But now that so many children are indulged, rather than taught to work and honor their parents with their finances, we consider children a liability because we want to give them all the gadgets the world has to offer.

Wow! That gave me a LOT to think about.
I’m wondering what is meant when Christians say, “we have to be responsible when we decide whether we’ll have more children or not.” What is responsible? Are we to make sure there is enough $ for a good college education, etc.? And enough extra $ and time for our own vacations, etc. (which truthfully, I find myself pining for at times – but is it really fulfilling to keep "doing" for ourselves, or does God mean for us to?) Is it assumed that if we have “too many” kids, we won’t be able to give them the individual time that each one deserves? (Which is funny in a way, because you can have 1 kid and not give him enough time too.)

And this is what I’m pondering – it may seem daring to suppose, but what if we took the Psalm that says: “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
– can we hope by that, God will use our children to go out in different directions serving Him in ways that we haven’t been able to? Can we hope that as we pray for them and seek to raise them in a Godly home, they will become soldiers for Jesus Christ, and by having children, we are building God's army?

What happened in our thinking through the years that makes us think of children being a burden?

If we were to have “control” over this area of our life, I wonder why there seems to be no easy option. So many couples freely share the news that they’ve gone under the knife. Yet a close friend of mine confided to me that “her husband doesn’t feel as good now that he’s had the surgery”. I’ve read that the same is true for some women who’ve had surgery. Hmmm.

There was a point in our lives where we weren’t allowed to use contraceptives because of the religious group we were in. We are no longer part of that group, and “free” to make a decision, but the weird thing is now that we can, there seems to be more questions than answers.

For anyone who knows us (and the chaotic moments at our house) and is squirming, (wondering why it’s even a question in my mind after we already have 6 kids), I apologize for bringing you any discomfort. My desire is to live with no regrets. We’ve prayed about it for a long while, and haven’t been satisfied yet. Does anyone have any wisdom or input to share?