wall portraits by Kim

Our indecision

Is using birth control what God means for us?

What a personal, embarrassing, uncomfortable, and controversial topic. And one that keeps me up at night – or keeps me on my own side of the bed at night…;) A topic with many personal opinions, yet no answers that give me peace – or answers that I been able to claim as my own and feel good about.
Why? I’m constantly tossed and turned with believing what the culture (or even some Christian friends whom I hold high esteem for.) is telling us, and the possibility that God doesn’t think the same thing.

Here are some thoughts from an article I stumbled on by Val Halloran:

In the Old Testament it says “It is I who open and close the womb.” Does He, or doesn’t He? I think many of us believe that once we have proved ourselves to be fertile, that the number of children we have escapes God’s control. If Romans 12:1 calls us to “present our bodies as a living sacrifice”, does this exclude the surrender of our wombs, the very thing that distinguishes us as women from men?
This world teaches that we should trust our own judgment when anticipating the future and what we think we can handle, but Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us not to “lean on our own understanding, but to trust in the Lord with all our hearts.”
I doubt if Mary, the mother of Jesus, would have chosen to become pregnant in her situation, but she said, “Be it done to me according to Thy will.” Her pregnancy was not convenient or timely in human terms, but God had a plan far greater than she could understand.
Psalm 127 says “Children are gifts from the Lord”. Has His Word ceased to be true in this modern age? Are we going to believe the culture around us or His eternal, unchangeable Word?
I don’t believe, as many churches teach, that it is irresponsible to allow God to have control over our wombs even when we face financial or other temporal pressures. God says He will not give us more than we can handle (I Corinthians 10:13).
The very children we accept from Him could someday be the key to alleviate some of those pressures we feel. It used to be that children were considered a financial asset, rather than a liability. But now that so many children are indulged, rather than taught to work and honor their parents with their finances, we consider children a liability because we want to give them all the gadgets the world has to offer.

Wow! That gave me a LOT to think about.
I’m wondering what is meant when Christians say, “we have to be responsible when we decide whether we’ll have more children or not.” What is responsible? Are we to make sure there is enough $ for a good college education, etc.? And enough extra $ and time for our own vacations, etc. (which truthfully, I find myself pining for at times – but is it really fulfilling to keep "doing" for ourselves, or does God mean for us to?) Is it assumed that if we have “too many” kids, we won’t be able to give them the individual time that each one deserves? (Which is funny in a way, because you can have 1 kid and not give him enough time too.)

And this is what I’m pondering – it may seem daring to suppose, but what if we took the Psalm that says: “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
– can we hope by that, God will use our children to go out in different directions serving Him in ways that we haven’t been able to? Can we hope that as we pray for them and seek to raise them in a Godly home, they will become soldiers for Jesus Christ, and by having children, we are building God's army?

What happened in our thinking through the years that makes us think of children being a burden?

If we were to have “control” over this area of our life, I wonder why there seems to be no easy option. So many couples freely share the news that they’ve gone under the knife. Yet a close friend of mine confided to me that “her husband doesn’t feel as good now that he’s had the surgery”. I’ve read that the same is true for some women who’ve had surgery. Hmmm.

There was a point in our lives where we weren’t allowed to use contraceptives because of the religious group we were in. We are no longer part of that group, and “free” to make a decision, but the weird thing is now that we can, there seems to be more questions than answers.

For anyone who knows us (and the chaotic moments at our house) and is squirming, (wondering why it’s even a question in my mind after we already have 6 kids), I apologize for bringing you any discomfort. My desire is to live with no regrets. We’ve prayed about it for a long while, and haven’t been satisfied yet. Does anyone have any wisdom or input to share?

More...

Our 13th Anniversary (Aug. 20th)

Serena getting a ride on Mr. Wragge's motorcycle - what fun!

Our beloved visitors the Wragge's,from Toronto - and now our "adopted" parents/grandparents.

Painted by Beau - for our anniversary - it is of our visit to the Split Rock Lighthouse at the North Shore, MN.

I think I can remember most of our anniversaries and what we did to celebrate. It means a lot to a wife, I think, to remember and recognize "what you are doing with this man anyway"! Hopefully building a marriage! (and a family - in our case). We've never gone anywhere extravagant (yet!), or spent a lot on gifts (yet! ;) but I've got memories that I will treasure. Some simple times, like a romantic, heart-shaped, home cooked dinners with wine, or going up to Winnipeg on a beautiful afternoon, and sharing a dinner there, eating outside at a fancy restaurant, and opening a white gold necklace with a small diamond from my hus... or a couple times, we were camping - crawling into a tent being careful not to wake the kids also sleeping in there - once in Medora, and another time in Colorado Springs... another anniversary we went to a lake home of some friends of ours and used their hot tub, and shared their endless water toys...

This year, we had nothing planned - (though I have dreams in my head of a future trip to a beach somewhere with just my man) - but our anniversary was pretty special anyway. We had company - friends from Toronto, who came to visit and ended up staying longer than planned because of problems with their motorhome. We've enjoyed them so much. We didn't have a promising day, weather wise, but we were determined to try and go golfing with our friends anyway. So we loaded up, and chased the blue spot in the clouds to the most promising golf course. We got one hole done and it started to rain - and when it didn't clear up, we gave up and looked for something else to do. (which you really don't have much to choose from here in the boonies.) We stopped at a cafe in a nearby town, and I "resigned" myself to eat at the not-so-fancy restaurant. We ended up having a really good time - it helped that our big city visitor genuinely loves stopping at "mom and pop" places like that! The food was actually good too, and paid for by our guests. Thanks!

And "thanks" too - to my husband for the beautiful bouquet pictured above - he had the florist rearrange a special bouquet using flowers of his choice out of different (already done) arrangements - she didn't think the colors went together - but he did - so there I have it! Something uniquely from Stu!

Another very special gift was a painting (also above) that was made especially for us by our brother-in-law , Beau. It is from a picture of us at the Split Rock Lighthouse at the North Shore in MN, last year. Talk about a cool gift!!! One we will treasure for always!

So - another anniversary to remember- we are definitely blessed ~ cheers to many more!!!

More reflections of our time in Mandan

Great sense of humor here, Kim!

Serena and Abby - our friends who were also visiting from Chicago.

The view over the hill from Steve and Kim's house in Mandan, ND.

More of the kids using the slippy slide.

Gabe on the merry go round.

Kira loving it!

If you look closely, you can see the teeth (and bright shirt) of my son in the middle. ;) We are taking the ferris wheel with Abby.

Kira with Chantelle and Ashley - our friends from Chicago.

a reflection of summer

wow - tomorrow the kids go back to school - summer goes so fast. It's amazing when you take the time to reflect on all you've done, the things that have happened, and how the kids have grown. Zeke is almost 7 months now - and this past month has been a whirlwind of firsts for him. He has learned to sit up on his own and shortly after, he learned to crawl (actually he pulls himself along - but fast!). He pulls himself up onto things, like he wants to stand - he is ahead of my other kids. (he doesn't want to be left behind on anything!) He has began eating solid foods - and now the newest thing is that he's been saying "da da - da da". Boy, is his dad proud. Next will be a tooth or two popping out - (he sure has been working on it!) He's also been moved out of Dad and Mom's room - they were SICK of being woke up in the night for no reason - so he's in a big crib in his own room, and "sleeping like a baby".

Zeke and Kira are posing with hockey gear.

This is McKenna (a friend) and Kira at the day camp in Park River. They got to play at the water slide, hang out in a cabin, buy stuff at the canteen, and of course, learn about God. (note the Bible Kira's holding.) When asked what their favorite part was, they said, "the water slide and buying candy!" Although they could have had the same answer if they'd gone to a hotel, hopefully something spiritual sunk in.

Our older kids also went to a week long Bible camp and LOVED it! Too bad I don't have pictures. They always come home bubbling over about everything. Thank you to the individual who sponsored our kids - (and more kids) - to go!! What an incredible gift!

Damien and Garret at Raging Rivers - Mandan. The kids and I spent a week at my sister-in-law, Kim's house while Stu, Uncle Steve and our nephews Ricky and Travis went to Boundary Waters - MN for a secluded (secluded? - sounds romantic - but I'm sure it wasn't that with the men folk!) camping trip. They had a great time, though were "wisker-y" and worn out when they got home. We more than survived - we were spoiled by Auntie Kim - in Mandan.

Zeke (sleeping) and I floating down the lazy river - ahhhhhhh - wonderful.

snacks

Does that strap look uncomfortable to you too?

Oohhh - owies! I was lathering lotion on Garret's sunburn.

Thanks to Kim for the photography!!!

I don't know what to do - my kid's are hopping the next train!!

Life in the Symington household really stinks sometimes - maybe I'll run away...

Mr. Conductor - don't say I can't go!

Uggh! All those sippy cups of milk I packed sure are heavy!

SIKE!!!! I'm just teasing! This is just for fun!!

Our little actor girl.

Kira would pretend to sleep, then crack up!!!

The whole crew.

Thanks to auntie Kim for the photos - she really gets some "framers"!