Getting used to America

Adjusting to our culture and language – to America!

Serena was 7 when she first came – and didn’t really attempt to communicate with us, while we were still in Ethiopia. She would talk to the Ethiopians and not even try to talk to us. It wasn't until there wasn't an Amharic speaking person around, that she made the effort to understand us. Almost a year has passed since we’ve brought her home, and there are a few things I especially remember of her trying to learn English. –

We would use cards with pictures of everyday items with the word below. This was one of the best “tools” we had for teaching her our language. One card was a kitchen sink, and her eyes would light up and she would guess a “chicken”! We couldn’t help but laugh, but she got offended. I think she was confusing “chicken” with “kitchen” – which was where that sink belonged.

We brought them home in April, and the weather was still chilly sometimes. I was outside with her, and I said, “brrrrrr!” and she responded “birr? Money?” (Ethiopian currency is birr).

That brings up another instance of ignorant bliss. Sadly, our kid’s estranged grandfather, didn’t accept our new black kids right away. He showed up on our driveway one day, and was talking to my husband, out the window of his pickup. Serena came bounding up and pointed to grandpa and looked at dad with question in her eyes. Stu said “that’s your Grandpa!”, and she excitedly asked “grandpa?” while rolling her R’s. Stu’s father got this look on his face like, “oh no, you can’t be saying…” As Serena was watching, Grandpa got out 3 ten dollar bills, for our “3” kids. Stu stared at him until he shrugged and added “for all your kids to share”. Oblivious to the insult, Serena lit up when she saw the money, and asked “birr?” holding out her hand. Grandpa finally got out 4 one dollar bills and handed them to her. She was delighted and danced around the yard, waving her dollars around above her head.

Serena came to America with the expectation that “begging” works. On the way home from Ethiopia, we went through the Mnpls. airport, where there are a lot of Ethiopians who work there. Twice, she went up to a snack stand, and asked in Amharic for some gum. Since we couldn’t understand her, we were slow to stop her. The Ethiopian people were pleased to talk to her, and gladly gave her gum, convincing us that it was alright, and they paid for it themselves. Even though we tried to explain to her that this is wrong, she would try it every time we went to the store. I would find her at the checkout, looking with pleading eyes at the cashier, saying “one?, just one?”, holding up a chapstick, or something like that. When I finally got through to her that she had to ask me, she would start a new tactic. When we would be passing an isle with something on the shelf that caught her eye, she would rush over to the item, and “swoon” over it, and come back to me, kissing my arm, and telling me how much she loved me, asking if she could have the water gun, or whatever new thing she wanted. In spite of her efforts, she never got the items she wanted – I was disgusted.

Serena also came to America with a wonderful trait – she knew how to work. She put everyone else in our family to shame. She is my best sweeper, and most willing helper. I have to keep myself from asking for her help more than the others, even though I need the help, and I know she’ll do it. She is always anxious to please. One day last fall, I was just finished canning a load of tomato soup, and I asked her to carry the jars downstairs and put them on the shelves in the freezer room. A few days later, I went down to get a couple jars to make taco soup. I couldn’t find them, so I asked Serena where she put them. She happily showed me that she put them in the freezer. Whoops! The soup expands as it freezes, so there were 6 broken jars in the freezer. Poor Serena looked so helpless as I exclaimed my disappointment, so I thanked her for helping, and told her it was okay. The whole sentence, “go downstairs and put these on the shelves in the freezer room”, was just too much for her to figure out.

She is learning so much. I just went in for a parents/teachers conference, and visited with her teachers. She is in Kindergarten, (with Kira) which is working well, even though she is 8. She is learning to read, and it is so much fun to hear her come home, knowing words, and sounding out words. The teachers find it interesting that there is no sound like “th” in Ethiopia, so they have to learn specifically how to make that sound. They say, “Etiopia”, instead of “Ethiopia”. We are working with her to get her to pronounce it right. Her special language teacher spent a lot of time getting her to add the “extra” words into a sentence. Before, she would say the bare minimum, without “the”, “of”, “is” etc. It worked too well – because now, we are trying to get her to stop saying, “can I get the Gabe out of his crib?” What a confusing language to learn!

Serena is very social. She loves people, (especially men). My husband couldn’t help but get a little jealous, when she would latch onto a friend of his, and kiss and hug him, obviously enjoying her new friendship. I got a call from the principal early on, about her inappropriate behavior. He said she would hit him on the rear! (in a flirty way) She would come into his office and tap on his keyboard, and when he said to go back to her classroom, she would say no! I couldn’t believe my ears. She got in deep trouble for that, and we explained and explained about respect for those above us, etc. I have observed with the principal that he seems genuinely interested in her too, and shows her attention, and sometimes teases her, so I think she just take her response a bit too far! In Ethiopia, they, even the men are very affectionate. It is normal for friends to greet each other with a kiss on one cheek, the other, then back to the other. We’ve had to pull her off of more than one poor guy who does not know what to do with her eagerness. I love how she is very personable – interested and loving to everyone. This is a trait from Ethiopia – they have all the time in the world for you. I hope she never loses that.