Why I love my MAN.

It seems my life is so occupied with children - kids - parenting, etc, that I thought I'd brag a little on my MAN for a change.

Why I love my MAN:
I first saw Stuart when I was a 13 yr. old, trying to find my way into womanhood. I had come on a trip to Neche for "special meetings" and was invited to his house for supper. I distinctly remember those feelings of awe when I first laid eyes on him - I never knew God made people that good looking! He had this black hair - dark eyes - when they looked at you, they lingered on your eyes and looked deeply - a softness to his voice... There was an air about him - a kind of dignity and confidence, the way he carried himself. And yet there was this mystery about him - if only I could know him better, I might find out what it is...
He was 20 at the time, so really there wasn't much hope of us getting together, with that kind of age difference. Yet I wondered if there was interest in his eyes when he looked at me... Or was I just hoping?
As the years went by, we met up again here and there. San Antonio, Indianapolis, Knoxville, Winnipeg, Toronto, Cleveland, Columbus... I became more sure that there was interest in his eyes when he looked at me. In fact he didn't seem in a hurry to get away when we stopped to talk. I felt free when I talked to him - I didn't have to say anything complicated or smart to interest him. I enjoyed every minute. I wanted more. Yet people noticed - and if there is one thing I hate, I hate to have people figure out my life for me before I do. Stu was considered a "bachelor" and people were watching to see who would be the lucky girl. Rumors started going around that we were "going together". I became determined to not give anyone talking, a leg to stand on. I snubbed Stu off when he came near - and made myself just out of reach. I would see him scanning the crowd and then stop when they got to me. Wow - what a feeling. Occasionally I'd allow myself to have a little chat with the hunk, and savor the moment. I did my own observing of him too. It wasn't just his looks or manner - there was a quality about him that I respected. He seemed to love children, and loved to tease them. I could see that when he teased someone, it was his way of enjoying them. He was his own person - not dependant on having others around him all the time. He could talk to older people, old ladies, whoever - the same caring way. He took care of a friend with disabilities with devotion - for many years. And it thrilled me to see that he had a good relationship with my dad. After I turned 20, he called my dad and asked if he could start talking to me. I mean really talking - to see if there was anything real between us. I knew he was what I was waiting for - there was no other man that compared in my mind. We didn't have much of a courtship - but I don't think that really mattered. We were married a month and a half after he made that first phone call to my dad. I got my man - the man.
So that's how we met and married, but let me skim through the next 12 years and tell why else I love him. He is a great husband. I kind of had to train him ;) - and that took a few years - but now~! No, seriously, he is a man - and some things you just can't train. A wife's not supposed to, I've come to think. Anyone who is married knows that it's quite a ride getting to know each other, and learn to live with each other, etc. There are things that I've learned about Stu through the years we've been together - through the ups and downs that are steady. He never has raised his voice to me in anger. In fact he hardly raises his voice in anger at anything. I remember being shocked when I was watching him putting in a new light fixture and it came down hard on his head, causing it to bleed, and he never made a sound. Oh, except when I think about that - that was when we were first married, and maybe he was showing off. But truly he's not the type to lose his temper. He will never hurt me physically. He has learned not to tickle me though, after tickling me so hard that he made me wet my pants! Which made me cry!... (oh gosh - who will be reading this?)
He supports me in my interests - and encourages me with kind words about the paintings I do, etc. He's even agreed to let me spend $ on schooling to help me with my skills. Although he doesn't say much sometimes, I know he's proud of what I do. He's sure I can fix about anything with the sewing machine and seems in unbelief when I hem a bridesmaid dress at how beautiful of a job I did... ahhh! :) Sometimes it doesn't take much to impress him. He will tell me sometimes 3 times in one day how beautiful I look in that outfit, or that my hair is pretty. (the funny thing is, is there are times when I really dress to impress him, he doesn't even notice!) He doesn't criticize me and won't correct me unless I specifically ask him to, or if I know I've offended him, and I dig it out of him. (which I'm not sure if that's good or bad...)
He's a great father. I could see before I married him, that he had a special place in his heart for kids. In fact I used to worry that if I couldn't have kids for some reason, he'd be disappointed in me (we didn't adopt as Brethren.) Humorous thought now that we are considered a "big" family with 6 kids. It warms my heart to see him enjoying our little infant - he gets up with him at 2 am and changes his diaper - and later brags about the smiles and laughs they shared. He puts the 5 oldest kids to bed almost every night - I've wish I had a tape recorder to record the stories that he tells to Garret - he makes up stories about Dumbo the elephant. Garret's expression and interest feeds the stories - he loves it! Often I hear screeches from the kids bedrooms when he's in there - either from the tickles and teasing, or laughter. He even has Gabe taught to say "MERCY!" when he wants him to stop. He loves to "rough house", and I'm relieved to have boys that he can do that with now - so he doesn't get the urge to tickle me anymore;)
He is a huge help around the house. Gone are the days of his grandfather and father - where the wife is expected to have dinner ready the minute the dad gets home from work - and serves him in his easy chair - thankfully! When I was pregnant with this last baby, I didn't feel motivated in the food department - so Stu often came home and fixed something good to eat. He's a good cook - if you can keep his hands off the spices and parmasean cheese! (everything is coated thickly with it otherwise!)
He's open to the new, and sometimes scary ideas that I have. One of my favorite vacations was when just he and I went to a cabin for Valentine's Day. I surprised him with planning the trip. We learned how to ski -and boy that was fun! And funny! He tried to snowboard - and looked so clumbsy it was all I could do not to laugh in his face! He finally gave that up... but he has enjoyed getting better and better at skiing!
I brought up the idea of adoption to him years ago, and although it was new to him, he considered it and prayed about it - and as you can see - followed it up by doing it! He says he is sure "God had these specific children in mind for us" - and hasn't had a problem treating them as his own - 'cause they are! He's actually thanked me for "pushing" him to do it! (I didn't care for the idea of being "pushy", but we're both happy with the results of that decision!)
And more recently, I had another "scary" idea to have our last baby at home. As he is whenever I bring up a new idea, he was quiet at first - I can't get him to comment on something until he's ready - that's for sure! He warmed to that idea too - and as it turned out - he was the "mid man", as the midwife didn't show up for the delivery. He loved it! Just ask him - he'll gladly tell you that it was an awesome experience - though he wouldn't agree to being anyone else's "mid man" - fire chief or not!
He is a leader - and people look to him to lead. I feel that he treats people with respect and they trust him to know what to do in situations. You can see that in all that he did to join in the flood fight we had here this past month and you'd know that by the amount of calls he got for help. You can see that in how he's taken the initiative to re-do our fire department - putting his own sweat in putting up the addition, and applying for a grant for the new fire truck we now have.
I think you can also say he's been a good leader with his own business.
I'm proud of my man. Although we both know he's not perfect - it does me good to brag about him a bit - it's so easy to take what we have for granted ~ if you ever happen to read this, Stu - I love you honey!

Here he is enjoying a back massage from Garret and Kira - hard to see who's enjoying it more - dad or Kira! I got a kick out of the gasps I heard when Kira would apply the cold lotion!

Why not to drive past those "road closed" signs.

A friend emailed me this video after reading my last post. Oops...

a reality check

It seems the theme for my blog is about attitude adjustments right now - obviously it's always a struggle in my mind as a parent. If you read my last post, you might find it ironic - as I did as I walked away from typing it. The irony of feeling bad about a few broken/damaged things around my house - when here we were just fighting a flood - and thankfully can say we've come through unharmed. The credit for coming through unharmed goes to the hard work of the men of this town who worked day and night to sandbag dikes and get the Army Corps in here to help. The government agreed to (after many meetings with the city council here) get the dike raised - so hopefully we won't have such a fight next time that much water comes our way. It is a relief to see the water going down - and things are getting back to normal. No one lost their home or more importantly - their life.
Speaking of loosing your life, we made a foolish decision today. The road is closed between Neche and Pembina (where we go to church) and has been for weeks. This morning we took the long way around and like I said before, we were noticing how much the water has gone down. So - on the way home, we looked down the highway that was closed (before we took the turn-off to the detour), and thought it might be safe enough to take home - it looked like the water had really gone done. We approached a strip of water that was running across the road and started through it - as we got going through it, we began to realize that it a lot deeper than we thought - and a lot longer of a stretch. The water was probably as high as our running boards. We no longer could see the lines on the road, and the only edge you could see was the lower one where the water was rushing off. The swirling of the water was confusing to your eyes - and it felt like the vehicle wasn't going straight. Thankfully we had 4WD, and such a large vehicle (and Excursion) - I'm sure a smaller one would have been swept away. There are no shoulders to that hwy - and the ditches are deep enough to have covered our Excursion if we were swept off. We couldn't see the condition of the road under us - it could have easily been broken away in spots. Garret kept asking if he could take off his seatbelt - in case we went under, and we had to make it out a window. Every seatbelt in our vehicle is full - there are 8 of us - and 2 in car-seats - one only 3 months old. As I was praying, I was trying to come up with a plan for if/when we got swept away. I would roll down the window on the side towards the sky and start unbuckling kids - I was picturing my trying to keep 3 month old Zeke up out of water while I poked kids out the window. I was planning on calling with my cell phone at the same time. It's truly out in the boonies - there wouldn't be anyone coming down the road. I kept quietly praying for forgiveness for being so foolish - and looking at my baby thinking about how God intrusted us with these children, and here we are... The stretch of water finally came to a close and we all looked at each other with relief as we drove up onto dry ground - until we came upon the next stretch. Not good. We crept along at a steady pace and the wheels stayed secured on the pavement that we couldn't see - as we began praying again. We made it home, but the nerves have hardly recovered. I am just so thankful that God was merciful to us - it really could have been tragic - and if nothing else - embarressing - Stu is fire chief of Neche - whoops - not too great of an example there...
Thank You God - thank you.

People are more important than things.

People are more important than things - or are they? I write this with a few tears remaining in my eyes from a little frustration fit I had a few minutes ago. After noticing how dusty a picture was on the wall, I took it down, and was cleaning it. This wasn't just any picture - it is a large, matted photograph of a lighthouse with a message about getting through storms in our lives - and was given to us by a dear friend after a tough time. It hangs above our staircase in the center of our house and spreads it's message like a covering over us. To me, it's priceless. I was in the process of tenderly "windexing" it, when I notice Serena trying out the hula -hoop that she just got. I remember getting one of those really going around my waist when I was in grade school - so we had a humorous session going on between Stu and I, when I hear this little voice, "I'm queaning". I than notice that Gabe has been squirting Windex on my beautiful picture - which has run down the glass and was spreading up onto the print - already discoloring it. What? I turned my back for 1 second! Instead of clowbering him, like I felt like to, I "pulled out my hair" as the tears started flowing. Garret's like, "sometimes I feel like that too."
Now, you might not notice the water stain in that picture when you come to my house, but it's there. Along with the dings in my coffee table that I've already sanded out and re-varnished once, the burn mark in my counter-top from when Kira was playing with a candle, the countless mars in the hardwood floor from carelessly dropped items, and you'll miss the $50 engraved emu egg from our trip to Australia because Damien dropped it off the bookshelf, and you'll miss the china plates that were handed down to me from my grandma because toddler hands found a way to get past that child lock on the cupboard. That's just touching on the fringe of it all.
I remember distinctly my mom saying "people are more important than things" to me, after I got up in arms when one of my siblings went in the family room to (I thought) "mess it up" after I spent hours organizing the books and toys. Apparently all she wanted was a crayon~ but can't things stay nice for a change? It's like the common bumper sticker - I won't directly quote - just say "life" happens.

Boy, do I feel better! Thanks for listening!

Feeling a little stranded

Looking north towards the Canadian border.

First entrance into town...

You can get out of town if you have to - you can get a ride through the 8" of water flowing over hwy. 18 - or if you have a 4WD vehicle, I think you can go yourself. I'm trying to make my groceries last...

Second entrance into town...

The south entrance that turns to gravel...

Governor John Hoeven's visit into town.

The governor at the fire hall.

Governor "shaking hands" with Zeke.

Governor discussing with the menfolk.

Our kids got to sit in the black hawk helicoptor - very cool.

Grand Forks Herald Friday April 17th

Lee Beattie, mayor of Neche, N.D., drives through floodwaters from the Pembina River west of the Pembina County city this evening on county Highway 55. The river can be seen in background of the photo. About a dozen people placed sandbags, seen on the right in the photo, on a driveway to the Newell farm to keep the water from washing it and the culvert out. County officials closed the highway here shortly after Beattie drove through, as the water levels rose.

A volunteer sandbaging crew Thursday afternoon attempts to stabelize the ground around two culverts west of Neche, N.D., that are in danger of washing out and causing a flood threat to Neche. Herald photo by John Stennes.

Stu is the guy on the far right in the red cap.

most rewarding job on the face of the planet...

“What is Motherhood? Smiles and giggles, endless hugs and kisses, chance to be amazed by how someone so little can be so much better at seeing the beauty in everything, huge lesson in not sweating the small stuff, your life revolves around giving and receiving unconditional love beyond measure, an opportunity to be trusted with God’s most precious gift and mold that being into an honorable person, an eye opening experience to prove that mothers are the ones that should be thankful for the blessings given….Most rewarding job on the face of the planet”
–Veena, Mother of Bindiya, 5, (India)

Now to add my own thoughts:
part of my personality is that I LOVE to see accomplishments - improvements around the house, making something that brings joy, getting something done... yet reading thoughts like those above, I ask myself - "am I getting something done, without getting something done?" So many times at the end of the day, you can't see anything accomplished. The clothes were washed, but hampers have clothes in them again - the meal was made, but eaten and gone - the house was cleaned, and was that way for a moment... so today I am thinking of the things that are getting done. If any of you are on facebook, you would know that our town is fighting a flood - and my husband, being the fire chief, is greatly involved. He is hardly home. Our kids make comments at the end of the day that they miss him. He comes in late and leaves early - and seeing each other for lunch has fallen by the wayside also. It won't last forever - in fact, since we've got the government to acknowledge our situation, they are building up our dikes in preparation for more water coming our way. Good news! Anyway, it has left me alone with our 6 kids. Saturday is here, and the projects that we were working on, are on hold, and any extra family activities aren't happening because Dad's away. It's me and the kids.
But - we are getting something done. The baby is getting held and talked to. He's growing so much it's happy and sad - I love to see him learn - he's smiling, cooing, and starting to use his hands - yet I'm sad because he's not a tiny baby anymore! It's over SO fast, it's crazy. It's been an incredible eye opening experience to have a baby when you didn't think you needed another one - and discover you did need him! He has brought our family so much joy ~! The older kids are learning to get along - we had one session today of boys having to go to their rooms for 15 minutes because they were calling each other names - but that's learning, isn't it? They said sorry when they were done, and were ready to get back to playing right afterward. Serena, Kira and I played Crazy 8's - that's getting something done too, I think. And joy of joys, Kira is reading now - and loves it - she has a little kids Bible, and has read 240 pages so far today. She asks - "did David ever sin?" So we went into a big discussion about that - "wheww" - that was a bit difficult - thankfully she was pretty easily satisfied. Her precious comment was that none of us are perfect - the devil just tries to make us do bad stuff. Another joy for me is to look outside and see an almost proper baseball game going with my kids making up half the kids - and actually seeing a lot of teamwork and connections with the ball - so in some views we might not be accomplish much, but when you look at the big picture - we ARE getting something done - and the best part about investing in lives, is it's for eternity.

spring is here - easter egg hunt

Zeke looking intelligent - but quickly falls to the side once the picture was taken...

Kira waiting for her neighbor friend to have a "picnic" with her.banana splits anyone? finding what the "easter bunny" brought them.

Damien helping cousin Luke find easter eggs.
Kira and Luke with their treats.