Why I love my MAN:
I first saw Stuart when I was a 13 yr. old, trying to find my way into womanhood. I had come on a trip to Neche for "special meetings" and was invited to his house for supper. I distinctly remember those feelings of awe when I first laid eyes on him - I never knew God made people that good looking! He had this black hair - dark eyes - when they looked at you, they lingered on your eyes and looked deeply - a softness to his voice... There was an air about him - a kind of dignity and confidence, the way he carried himself. And yet there was this mystery about him - if only I could know him better, I might find out what it is...
He was 20 at the time, so really there wasn't much hope of us getting together, with that kind of age difference. Yet I wondered if there was interest in his eyes when he looked at me... Or was I just hoping?
As the years went by, we met up again here and there. San Antonio, Indianapolis, Knoxville, Winnipeg, Toronto, Cleveland, Columbus... I became more sure that there was interest in his eyes when he looked at me. In fact he didn't seem in a hurry to get away when we stopped to talk. I felt free when I talked to him - I didn't have to say anything complicated or smart to interest him. I enjoyed every minute. I wanted more. Yet people noticed - and if there is one thing I hate, I hate to have people figure out my life for me before I do. Stu was considered a "bachelor" and people were watching to see who would be the lucky girl. Rumors started going around that we were "going together". I became determined to not give anyone talking, a leg to stand on. I snubbed Stu off when he came near - and made myself just out of reach. I would see him scanning the crowd and then stop when they got to me. Wow - what a feeling. Occasionally I'd allow myself to have a little chat with the hunk, and savor the moment. I did my own observing of him too. It wasn't just his looks or manner - there was a quality about him that I respected. He seemed to love children, and loved to tease them. I could see that when he teased someone, it was his way of enjoying them. He was his own person - not dependant on having others around him all the time. He could talk to older people, old ladies, whoever - the same caring way. He took care of a friend with disabilities with devotion - for many years. And it thrilled me to see that he had a good relationship with my dad. After I turned 20, he called my dad and asked if he could start talking to me. I mean really talking - to see if there was anything real between us. I knew he was what I was waiting for - there was no other man that compared in my mind. We didn't have much of a courtship - but I don't think that really mattered. We were married a month and a half after he made that first phone call to my dad. I got my man - the man.
So that's how we met and married, but let me skim through the next 12 years and tell why else I love him. He is a great husband. I kind of had to train him ;) - and that took a few years - but now~! No, seriously, he is a man - and some things you just can't train. A wife's not supposed to, I've come to think. Anyone who is married knows that it's quite a ride getting to know each other, and learn to live with each other, etc. There are things that I've learned about Stu through the years we've been together - through the ups and downs that are steady. He never has raised his voice to me in anger. In fact he hardly raises his voice in anger at anything. I remember being shocked when I was watching him putting in a new light fixture and it came down hard on his head, causing it to bleed, and he never made a sound. Oh, except when I think about that - that was when we were first married, and maybe he was showing off. But truly he's not the type to lose his temper. He will never hurt me physically. He has learned not to tickle me though, after tickling me so hard that he made me wet my pants! Which made me cry!... (oh gosh - who will be reading this?)
He supports me in my interests - and encourages me with kind words about the paintings I do, etc. He's even agreed to let me spend $ on schooling to help me with my skills. Although he doesn't say much sometimes, I know he's proud of what I do. He's sure I can fix about anything with the sewing machine and seems in unbelief when I hem a bridesmaid dress at how beautiful of a job I did... ahhh! :) Sometimes it doesn't take much to impress him. He will tell me sometimes 3 times in one day how beautiful I look in that outfit, or that my hair is pretty. (the funny thing is, is there are times when I really dress to impress him, he doesn't even notice!) He doesn't criticize me and won't correct me unless I specifically ask him to, or if I know I've offended him, and I dig it out of him. (which I'm not sure if that's good or bad...)
He's a great father. I could see before I married him, that he had a special place in his heart for kids. In fact I used to worry that if I couldn't have kids for some reason, he'd be disappointed in me (we didn't adopt as Brethren.) Humorous thought now that we are considered a "big" family with 6 kids. It warms my heart to see him enjoying our little infant - he gets up with him at 2 am and changes his diaper - and later brags about the smiles and laughs they shared. He puts the 5 oldest kids to bed almost every night - I've wish I had a tape recorder to record the stories that he tells to Garret - he makes up stories about Dumbo the elephant. Garret's expression and interest feeds the stories - he loves it! Often I hear screeches from the kids bedrooms when he's in there - either from the tickles and teasing, or laughter. He even has Gabe taught to say "MERCY!" when he wants him to stop. He loves to "rough house", and I'm relieved to have boys that he can do that with now - so he doesn't get the urge to tickle me anymore;)
He is a huge help around the house. Gone are the days of his grandfather and father - where the wife is expected to have dinner ready the minute the dad gets home from work - and serves him in his easy chair - thankfully! When I was pregnant with this last baby, I didn't feel motivated in the food department - so Stu often came home and fixed something good to eat. He's a good cook - if you can keep his hands off the spices and parmasean cheese! (everything is coated thickly with it otherwise!)
He's open to the new, and sometimes scary ideas that I have. One of my favorite vacations was when just he and I went to a cabin for Valentine's Day. I surprised him with planning the trip. We learned how to ski -and boy that was fun! And funny! He tried to snowboard - and looked so clumbsy it was all I could do not to laugh in his face! He finally gave that up... but he has enjoyed getting better and better at skiing!
I brought up the idea of adoption to him years ago, and although it was new to him, he considered it and prayed about it - and as you can see - followed it up by doing it! He says he is sure "God had these specific children in mind for us" - and hasn't had a problem treating them as his own - 'cause they are! He's actually thanked me for "pushing" him to do it! (I didn't care for the idea of being "pushy", but we're both happy with the results of that decision!)
And more recently, I had another "scary" idea to have our last baby at home. As he is whenever I bring up a new idea, he was quiet at first - I can't get him to comment on something until he's ready - that's for sure! He warmed to that idea too - and as it turned out - he was the "mid man", as the midwife didn't show up for the delivery. He loved it! Just ask him - he'll gladly tell you that it was an awesome experience - though he wouldn't agree to being anyone else's "mid man" - fire chief or not!
He is a leader - and people look to him to lead. I feel that he treats people with respect and they trust him to know what to do in situations. You can see that in all that he did to join in the flood fight we had here this past month and you'd know that by the amount of calls he got for help. You can see that in how he's taken the initiative to re-do our fire department - putting his own sweat in putting up the addition, and applying for a grant for the new fire truck we now have.
I think you can also say he's been a good leader with his own business.
I'm proud of my man. Although we both know he's not perfect - it does me good to brag about him a bit - it's so easy to take what we have for granted ~ if you ever happen to read this, Stu - I love you honey!
Here he is enjoying a back massage from Garret and Kira - hard to see who's enjoying it more - dad or Kira! I got a kick out of the gasps I heard when Kira would apply the cold lotion!
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