Observation time:
When we first brought the kids home, I found myself on display. I was observed in all my "glory" - and nothing went by without being noticed. My new 8 yr. old daughter watched every move I made - studied the way I cleared my throat, watched me chew my food, chuckled at the burp I tried to hide, commented on how tired I was if I sighed, pointed out the little dirty spot on my shirt, and "helped" me by letting me know anything that happened in the house that she thought I should be aware of. It felt stifling at times - would I ever just get by without much notice anymore?
I should add that she also saw her new mom with a fascination that made me step back and appreciate. I would simply walk out of my room in the morning with an outfit on that she hadn't seen yet, and she would exclaim with delight on how "beautiful" I look! It didn't matter if it was a few years old. She noticed if I wore a pair of earrings that I hadn't worn yet since she'd come to live here. After I do my hair for church, she would tell me that my hair was so pretty. She would tell me I'm so nice, if I shared my lipgloss with her. And she still sits and studies my old picture books and tenderly oohs and aahhs over old pictures of me, noticing everything.
It has forced me to open myself up and allow her to get to know me, even if it's out of my comfort zone. After all, I am her mother.
Cut and paste:
We have a wall of pictures in our living room. It gets enjoyed by our baby, Gabe, the most. He calls all the kids "Damien! Damien!", although now, he is adding, "Diera! (Kira)". We have a new family picture with all 5 kids on our wall, but there is still a picture of when we only had 3 kids - before the adoption. This bothers Serena . After commenting on it from time to time, she finally asked me the other day if she could be in the picture. I laughed and said that was when we had only 3 kids before we went to Ethiopia to pick her up. I pointed out that she is in the current picture. She went on to suggest that I cut a picture out of her, and glue it right there between Damien and Garret on the old picture. It touched my heart - to think it means that much to her to be part of our family, that she would try to change our past to include her!
Understanding the color of our skin:
Serena has fully accepted that she is different color than her parents, and doesn't seem at all bothered by it. I did find it interesting the other day, when she asked me if she would have white skin like me when she grew up. (where did that idea come from?) I told her no, but assured her that we love the color of her skin, and she is beautiful in her own special way. (little does she know I'd love to get some color into my skin right now -after a winter, my skin is gastly!) When the skin color discussion includes Damien, he is quick to say that there are more colors of skin in our family than brown and white. HE is tan (he does get a gorgeous tan in the summer, but I don't care for his growing vanity), mom is white, etc., etc.
Special music:
Yesterday, Serena sang for special music at church. Or should I say mumbled. At home, she loves to put in an Ethiopian cd and sing her heart out. For this particular song, she gets down on her knees, closes her eyes, and puts her hands up - singing with so much emotion to Jesus. I thought this would be great for our church - throw in a little charisma, into our reserved congregation. So, after spending a 1/2 hr. getting her hair just right, and all the tangles out, putting on her prettiest dress, she was ready.
Talk about the longest 6 minutes of a person's life! The song went on and on, and she stared out at the crowd, and murmered into the mike, with an occasional outburst in Amharic, when she was confident enough. "Oh well", I tell Stu later, "at least she looked pretty." I'm learning to shrug somethings off - what can you do about it now anyway!
Bobbing and weaving:
My baby, Gabe, has been with us now for 10 mo., about as long as he's been in Ethiopia. He doesn't remember anything of his old life, of course. I marvel at how absolutely adorable he is. He drives us all nuts at times with his 1 yr. old drama - messing up and getting into everthing. He's also made his mom aware that maybe she is done with babies, but is he ever cute! Today is sunny, and I decided to pull him in a sled around town. (to make a complete circle around our small town, it takes 30 min.) I sat him up in the sled and off we went. Halfway done, I look back and see him sitting there with his eyes closed - his head swaying side to side and bobbing front to back. He starts to lay back, then jerks up again. After smiling at him for a while, I gently lay him back, and continue on. The problem is, he looks a little dead, or something. He lays stiff, all bundled up, with his arms straight out. So I smile, trying to look like this is completely normal, as I pass car after car of curious people. The little bundle is pictured below, still sleeping.
When we first brought the kids home, I found myself on display. I was observed in all my "glory" - and nothing went by without being noticed. My new 8 yr. old daughter watched every move I made - studied the way I cleared my throat, watched me chew my food, chuckled at the burp I tried to hide, commented on how tired I was if I sighed, pointed out the little dirty spot on my shirt, and "helped" me by letting me know anything that happened in the house that she thought I should be aware of. It felt stifling at times - would I ever just get by without much notice anymore?
I should add that she also saw her new mom with a fascination that made me step back and appreciate. I would simply walk out of my room in the morning with an outfit on that she hadn't seen yet, and she would exclaim with delight on how "beautiful" I look! It didn't matter if it was a few years old. She noticed if I wore a pair of earrings that I hadn't worn yet since she'd come to live here. After I do my hair for church, she would tell me that my hair was so pretty. She would tell me I'm so nice, if I shared my lipgloss with her. And she still sits and studies my old picture books and tenderly oohs and aahhs over old pictures of me, noticing everything.
It has forced me to open myself up and allow her to get to know me, even if it's out of my comfort zone. After all, I am her mother.
Cut and paste:
We have a wall of pictures in our living room. It gets enjoyed by our baby, Gabe, the most. He calls all the kids "Damien! Damien!", although now, he is adding, "Diera! (Kira)". We have a new family picture with all 5 kids on our wall, but there is still a picture of when we only had 3 kids - before the adoption. This bothers Serena . After commenting on it from time to time, she finally asked me the other day if she could be in the picture. I laughed and said that was when we had only 3 kids before we went to Ethiopia to pick her up. I pointed out that she is in the current picture. She went on to suggest that I cut a picture out of her, and glue it right there between Damien and Garret on the old picture. It touched my heart - to think it means that much to her to be part of our family, that she would try to change our past to include her!
Understanding the color of our skin:
Serena has fully accepted that she is different color than her parents, and doesn't seem at all bothered by it. I did find it interesting the other day, when she asked me if she would have white skin like me when she grew up. (where did that idea come from?) I told her no, but assured her that we love the color of her skin, and she is beautiful in her own special way. (little does she know I'd love to get some color into my skin right now -after a winter, my skin is gastly!) When the skin color discussion includes Damien, he is quick to say that there are more colors of skin in our family than brown and white. HE is tan (he does get a gorgeous tan in the summer, but I don't care for his growing vanity), mom is white, etc., etc.
Special music:
Yesterday, Serena sang for special music at church. Or should I say mumbled. At home, she loves to put in an Ethiopian cd and sing her heart out. For this particular song, she gets down on her knees, closes her eyes, and puts her hands up - singing with so much emotion to Jesus. I thought this would be great for our church - throw in a little charisma, into our reserved congregation. So, after spending a 1/2 hr. getting her hair just right, and all the tangles out, putting on her prettiest dress, she was ready.
Talk about the longest 6 minutes of a person's life! The song went on and on, and she stared out at the crowd, and murmered into the mike, with an occasional outburst in Amharic, when she was confident enough. "Oh well", I tell Stu later, "at least she looked pretty." I'm learning to shrug somethings off - what can you do about it now anyway!
Bobbing and weaving:
My baby, Gabe, has been with us now for 10 mo., about as long as he's been in Ethiopia. He doesn't remember anything of his old life, of course. I marvel at how absolutely adorable he is. He drives us all nuts at times with his 1 yr. old drama - messing up and getting into everthing. He's also made his mom aware that maybe she is done with babies, but is he ever cute! Today is sunny, and I decided to pull him in a sled around town. (to make a complete circle around our small town, it takes 30 min.) I sat him up in the sled and off we went. Halfway done, I look back and see him sitting there with his eyes closed - his head swaying side to side and bobbing front to back. He starts to lay back, then jerks up again. After smiling at him for a while, I gently lay him back, and continue on. The problem is, he looks a little dead, or something. He lays stiff, all bundled up, with his arms straight out. So I smile, trying to look like this is completely normal, as I pass car after car of curious people. The little bundle is pictured below, still sleeping.
1 comment:
I Love all those stories! Thanks for sharing. It gets me so excited for what's to come for our family. Right now I think two would be great, but God knows what best for our family and I totally trust in Him!
Michelle
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